Thursday, March 2, 2017

Review: Slammed by Colleen Hoover

Title: Slammed
Author: Colleen Hoover
Genre: Contemporary/New Adult
Release Date: January 2012
Rating: 2/5 Stars

New Adult is a category of books that I’m still warming up to; last year, I read Confess by Colleen Hoover, and was almost surprised that I really enjoyed it. Although that book had a few issues, it still made me want to venture into her back list for my Contemporary Romance challenge, and I ended up reading Slammed, which centers around 18-year-old Layken (this name makes me cringe, tbh) aka Lake (much better), and her 21-year-old neighbor Will. Lake’s dad just passed away and she moved with her mother and younger brother to Michigan, allegedly for her mother’s work but Lake has her own suspicions of why they moved. Meanwhile, she meets Will as soon as she moves in, and he is super hot and super into her so she’s like “Maybe Michigan’s not so bad” and decides to give the move a chance. For some reason, Will is super into slam poetry even though it’s no longer 1996, and he takes Lake to a slam poetry night at a Detroit club. This bothered me a little bit because Will and Lake live in Ypsilanti, which is a lot closer to Ann Arbor than Detroit and I kind of feel like that is where they would go to hear some really bad college student slam poetry, but I digress. Back to the plot summary. Also, spoiler alert because I’m not sure how to explain my issues with this book without spoiling a little bit. Keep reading if you have read this already or are okay with being spoilered.

So Lake is like “Will is the greatest, he’s so good at writing slam poetry” (said no one, ever) and she finally has her first day at school. She arrives at her poetry class and SURPRISE! Will is her poetry teacher! She’s in high school! It’s kind of creepy. Granted, they have only had one date and have known each other for three days, but this issue blows their minds and they both proceed to act like idiots for the rest of the book. Oh, and this book uses parental death as a plot device to bring the hero and heroine together, so there’s that. The end!

How I pictured Will's slam poetry seshes
Now, what I liked about the book: Will’s character had some good moments and the chemistry between Will and Lake was very well-written. Hoover clearly knows how to write two people who are attracted to each other, but shouldn’t be together. If this story was aged up a bit and Will was her college professor, this could have been a steamy read, in a good way. Another positive: Lake kind of evolves and becomes a better person by the end of the book. She’s got ‘insufferable teen’ down in the first half of the book: she loves making assumptions and judging others, slamming doors, and making a scene in front of other people. She does manage to mature a little throughout the story, and I didn’t completely hate her by the time the book was over. I don't know if that's really saying a lot, though.

Literally my face when reading this book
Now, for my issues with the book and why I could not in good conscience give this book more than two stars. Mostly, the plot was just not compelling enough for me become invested in Will and Lake’s romance. The story is told in a “I did this, then this, and then this happened” way, and the reveals throughout the book were too convenient and a little clunky. On Lake’s first day of school for example, a random girl comes up to her and is like “We are best friends now” and then they are magically best friends for the rest of the book. Will and Lake can’t be together because he’s her teacher and he takes care of his little brother because their parents are dead, but then luckily, in a FSOG moment, a fellow student tries to sexually assault Lake which of course leads to Will punching said student, and the school is like “It’s cool, we’ll just transfer you to a different school”. Now he still has his job and can date Lake. At least, once her mom is dead and out of the way. Score! By the end of the book, all the parents are dead and the new adults live happily ever after. Until, I’m assuming, the second book.

Although I've heard book #2 is even worse...
This may sound a little harsh, but this book was just honestly so bad. The slam poetry was awful, the attempts at drama and tear jerking moments were poorly done, and I just didn’t feel like I knew any of the characters well enough to care when something bad happened to them. The story also featured every bad trope known to YA/New Adult romance: instalove, hero saves heroine from getting assaulted, barely legal couple can’t wait to get married and take care of children, and everyone is an orphan. It was just too much for me. Although I know Colleen Hoover's work is very popular, I may have to sit this series out.  

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